The Perils of Housepainting
by VioletzeEcoFreak
Summary: There's not a lot going on in that tiny Saskatchewan town, but that doesn't mean that Matthew and Katyuhsa aren't having a good time together.


A/N: AU and a bit of a crossover with Corner Gas, you have been warned.

----

Matthew and Katyusha had frequently joked that the reason they, and by extension their rapidly-growing family, had ended up in Dog River was an act of God. It was probably more accurate to say it was an act of the newlyweds' little red car, which was probably running on fumes when they finally passed the little village during their house-hunting across the prairies.

So Matthew stopped at the only gas station within a hundred kilometres and Katyusha went to the cafe next door to try and find some food that wasn't simply empty calories and salt. After being met with the very bizarre sight of all of the locals, or what she presumed were the locals, gathered around a bubblegum machine, and replenishing their snack supply, she saw a sign on the bulletin board stating that Bernie's house (whoever he was) was for sale. Curiosity thus piqued, Katyusha met Matthew again and described the find.

Within the month they'd purchased the house and moved in with most of their things. The previous owners had practically pushed the keys into their hands when they'd found out that they were considering starting their family there and the woman (Laurie? Lacey?) had nearly jumped for joy when Katyusha correctly identified the colour in the living room as "Spanish Gold".

Standing together in their new house, Matthew and Katyusha breathed a sigh. The worst, they thought, was over.

----

"This is a great house," Matthew said after he finished his call with his twin brother. Alfred had spent almost the whole time questioning Matthew about their new home and insisting he would come up from DC before it got "too cold" to visit. "New plumbing, a good kitchen, central heating..."

"I agree," Katyusha replied, leaning against her new husband with a smile and setting her head in the crook of his shoulder. "And the old owners chose great colours. All we have to paint is the basement."

"And the bedroom," Matthew added.

"Hmm? I like the colour in there, sea-foam green is one of my favourites."

"I just don't like it," he replied, setting his head against hers. "It doesn't go with the decor in there, either."

Katyusha pondered this for a moment, before making a "hmm" sound and saying, "If we leave the living room alone you can change the bedroom."

"Deal," Matthew replied.

----

"This is a colour I can live with," Matthew said, enjoying the sight of the dark brown walls and the wide-open windows. The room felt, rather appropriately, like a cozy den with the dark walls and warm rugs. Now that they had finished making changes to their home -- painting the bedroom walls, buying an excess of rugs to cover the flooring, and replacing the cupboard handles -- all that was left was to face the basement.

"Carpet or hardwood?" Katyusha asked Matthew over breakfast.

"How about laminate?" Matthew suggested, "It's cheaper, and goodness knows we have to save wherever we can." He took a sip of his coffee.

"It scratched easier as well," Katyusha replied. She peeled her orange and began eating the segments. "But I think it might be okay if we're careful."

"Aren't we always?" he asked brightly.

Katyusha blushed visibly but said, "You weren't careful around that vase my sister gave me last night." Matthew choked on his coffee and stood abruptly.

"I'd better make sure I get there for my class," he said, glancing at his watch. Katyusha stood along with him, kissed his cheek, and giggled as he rushed from the house with a piece of toast still in his mouth. Her own work would not be starting officially until tomorrow, which left her with a day to see if Dog River had a liquor store and check out paint colours for the basement.

----

Matthew arrived home looking a little haggard, but generally pleased with the day's work. As he hung up his bright orange scarf and loosened his tie (Katyusha couldn't help but shiver at the sight) he said, "You know how we smelled sewage the first time we were here?" She nodded. "Turns out the guy who owns the gas station was doing water divination for a farmer and found a septic tank instead." He laughed, and Katyusha joined him as they went to the kitchen table. Dog River seemed to be an absurd sort of place, the more they got to know it.

When she could speak clearly again, Katyusha started in on her supper and told Matthew about her latest discoveries.

"I found the liquor store," she said. Matthew smiled immediately. "Picked up some vodka and a six-pack for you. The man there sold insurance, too." Matthew's eyebrows went up but he did not interrupt. He never commented on her day-to-day observations until she was finished, a habit he'd no doubt picked up from his own family's constant interruptions.

"Everyone seems to hate the nearest town, too," she remarked. "Everyone spat when someone said its name. Oh," she added a moment later, "your family called. Your papa and brother and Arthur are planning on coming in the beginning of October."

"Thank you," Matthew said with a grin. He stood and searched the fridge for a beer. Katyusha asked him about how his classes were doing, and he immediately replied, "They'll smarten up a little when they realise after Montreal this is nothing."

"Oh my, are they that bad?"

"No, but their old teachers were really slack on them, and I plan on staying strict." He shrugged a little and sat down. "Anyways, how is the quest to repaint the basement going?"

"I was in the city to get groceries, so I found some paint swatches and samples while I was there," she replied. "We should look at them after supper."

----

It was Sunday afternoon and raining, and Matthew and Katyusha were in their basement, sitting on the rug Arthur had given them during his visit and staring at the paint swatches between them. One was light blue, Katyusha's preference, and the other was a dark red, almost burgundy, Matthew's preference.

Their arguments were straight-forward but they had trouble making any headway. Katyusha stated the blue would open up the space and keep things fresh. Matthew had told her that the dark red would keep things cozy and warm.

They stared at the colours and then each other, finally turning to the test spots on the wall before looking back at the swatches. Finally, Matthew said, "The light blue isn't bad, but I like the red better." Katyusha began to argue back. It was guaranteed to be a long night.

----

In the end the pre-school teacher and the high school history teacher came to a compromise, after a long argument in their basement over the individual merits over the colours. The long wall with the high windows would be blue, the others would be dark red. It was, like a great deal of their compromises, patchwork and not entirely cohesive, but it worked.

So, one Saturday Matthew set aside his marking and Katyusha stopped trying to rack her brains on games for her students and they set to work painting the basement. Wielding a roll of painter's tape, Katyusha began to process of setting it along the windows and baseboards while Matthew was prepared the light blue paint. When she was finished with the long wall he took a roller, dipped it in the tray, and began to apply the blue to the wall.

They worked in silence, save the music coming from the radio. Then Katyusha appeared behind Matthew and pressed a piece of tape to his mouth with an impish smile. Matthew put on his best "I am not amused" face and turned to face her. Instead of looking embarrassed Katyusha simply laughed at him, now used to his expression and the meaning behind it.

Matthew didn't peel off the tape, just went back to work as Katyusha picked up a roller as well and joined him. A few minutes later, he reached over and dabbed some blue paint onto her nose. She smiled and took it all in stride, until Matthew added a swirl from her cheek over her nose. Then Katyusha took some paint from the roller onto her hands and smeared some blue paint on his face when he turned away.

Matthew turned to see what on Earth she was doing and saw Katyusha, blue face and all, grinning devilishly and poking at his chest with her roller. Matthew took a step back to try and get his bearings, not to mention prepare a counter-attack, when he stepped on the edge of the paint tray, causing it to fling upwards and spray with back of his tattered sweats and holey socks with paint. Alarmed, Matthew turned back to look and was toppled by a particularly hard jab to his front. On the floor, at least, he had better access to the paint tray. In fact, his left hand wound up sitting in the tray when he landed.

Katyusha came down quickly, sitting on Matthew's legs and trying to smudge as much blue as she could along his neck and clothed shoulders while her cheeks and hair got bluer and bluer under his playful hand. They giggled together in their mock-wrestling, for once unconcerned that this would mean they'd need to take long showers _again_.

Before anything could really come of their foolishness, though, the doorbell rang. Abruptly the two were on their feet, Katyusha running for the door, careful not to touch anything, with Matthew following close behind after removing the tape and shucking his socks.

The door opened, and the couple was met with the sight of Katyusha's younger siblings standing on their doorstep. They looked appropriately surprised.

END

----

A/N: Written for the LJ community Special Sight's Winter Exchange~ Seriously, y'all have to come visit it if you dig Canada/Ukraine. It is probably the greatest concentration of het this side of the Hetalia fandom thus far.

I had far too much fun writing this piece, considering what it's about. That is, housepainting.

Thank you for reading!


End file.
